Life: Chapter II

Call me cheesy but I find more and more reasons to believe in serendipity and fate everyday. All the right things at exactly the right time has always been one of the few but very significant mottos or mantra-of-sorts that I believe so strongly in, along with everything happens for a reason, and everything will fall into place. 

Just very recently I found myself at a crossroads, caught in a situation where I had to make a decision that would undoubtedly affect my graduate life.. my plans and my dreams. I'm normally and usually rather indecisive but I could always find ways to cope. This particular time and situation, however, was really something else. I've just always had an idea of, and a lot of pegs for what I want to do and how I want my life to be. And after graduation it felt like, "okay, time to follow my heart and make my dreams come true!" So that's what I did. I followed my heart and did what I felt was right, what I felt I needed to do in line with my vision and goals. But as you may know, things don't always work out the way you would like or planned them to. Nevertheless, they still have a way of working out and although it may be difficult to understand or see at first, it's usually better than you expect. (It is the natural way, after all). This is what happened to me these past couple of weeks. I was hesitant to take an opportunity that had opened up for me because it was not exactly in line with what I had planned and imagined myself doing but I saw the potential and good side to it eventually and decided to go for it. I grabbed said opportunity! and after I did, I was moved and overwhelmed by how it all seemed to work out and fall into place. I asked God and the Universe for a sign, so I know I made the right decision, and signs they gave me, I believe. After accepting the opportunity, still a little unsure at first nevertheless willing and keeping an open mind and positive disposition, all signs of affirmation came through the people I love and care about and those whose opinions I value, through books and songs. 

So you see, I really do believe all the right things will come at the right time and that everything naturally falls into place. The key is to never lose sight of your values, goals and dreams and pursue them, but keep an open mind and go with the flow as much as you possibly can. As long as you do this and stay positive about it all, you will arrive at your destination eventually. Just believe. 

On another note, my grandfather and uncle just moved in to their new apartment this past week. I woke up this morning thinking of their old house.. it's hard to imagine it empty and being torn down soon and turned into commercial space. Just, wow. But I'm looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. I'm so excited to assume my role as the adult granddaughter and take care of my family and make new memories in their new house with these new experiences. 

Have a lovely weekend!

x Nikki

Think Pink

Exactly a year ago today, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The doctors pronounced the mass they found in her right breast malignant after they extracted it and then performed tests to find out if it was harmful or not. The operation was done instead of the usual biopsy, in which only a tiny part of the mass, a sample if you may, would be taken through an injection or something to be checked and tested, at the insistence of my mom’s attending physician. It was better to remove the whole of it immediately than leave it inside my mom’s body longer after all. The mass was big according to the doctors and my brother who was at the hospital on the day of mom’s operation; I had to be in school. Thankfully though, the cancer was still at an early stage when they found it.

That first operation was followed by another more serious one. Exactly 2 days after being diagnosed, my mom underwent a mastectomy; in simpler terms, her whole right breast was removed. It was replaced with an implant of sorts so that it wasn’t left flat. The doctors highly encouraged the operation since it was the best way to prevent any recurrences of the cancer. It was a difficult decision but it had to be made. My mom was understandably torn about it at first; it was an important part of her womanhood that was taken away from her, if you know what I mean. But she learned to accept it eventually and never felt bad about it anymore since then. It also helped that she met other breast cancer survivors who willingly helped her cope and welcomed her to their support groups.

We stayed in the hospital with her for about a week after the 2 operations. She was allowed to go home earlier than expected as the doctors observed she was recovering quickly, but she was advised and scheduled to take chemotherapy, but only a few sessions of it since her cancer was still at an early stage. It was another difficult decision that had to be made. We all understood what would happen if mom underwent chemo. And when she did, things happened as expected. She started wearing a wig, which was lent to her by her cousin who is also a breast cancer survivor. And she started dreading every chemo session. Let me tell you, what they show in the movies is very true. My mom came out of every chemo session feeling sick, weak and tired. At home she would just stay in and sleep almost the whole day for 2-3 consecutive days. It was never easy, but we took care of her of course. All for and out of love. The last thing we wanted was for her to feel any worse.  

Halfway through her chemo, she was advised to take radiation sessions as well. And then when she was done with those, she had to start taking shots of Herceptin, an antibiotic that helps stop the development of cancer cells.  

Now my mom’s all better. Her hair’s still shorter than usual but long enough that she stopped wearing a wig. It looks like she had a pixie cut like Emma Watson haha I actually keep telling her it’s nice J And she has about 3-4 shots of Herceptin left to take, if I’m not mistaken, whichis not as “heavy” as chemotherapy, thankfully. As soon as she finishes taking those last shots, she’s done with medications. All she has to do is get even better and stay healthy. And we’re doing it with her! Since my dad had a stroke about 7 years ago, we started lessening the salt and artificial flavorings and stuff in our food. Now, since my mom’s bout with cancer, the food at home just turned healthier. We always have fruits on the table now and we drink tea and organic supplements like barley extract and wheatgrass juice. But we’re not complaining. We’re just happy she’s better and healthier. Both my parents have been through serious health issues, but they’re both here and stronger now and I feel very blessed because of that. 

    

What we went through with my mom was an eye-opener for me. Now I find myself wanting to help out in cancer support groups, especially those for breast cancer patients and survivors (hence, the tite “Think Pink”), and support the causes related to it, especially awareness and finding a cure.  

Consider this post as my own stand and support for awareness and finding a cure against cancer.

Many lives have been lost to it and more people are being diagnosed and fighting it nowadays. No one deserves to get cancer and suffer from it. It’s a very serious disease and one of the most difficult to deal with. And it’s not easy on the pocket either. Let’s all pray that a cure will be found soon and that those who are fighting it now may never lose hope and win against it.

Until then, please remember that there are steps we can take to help prevent it. Eat healthy, exercise regularly or as much as you can, and take vitamins and medicines you may need, especially if you have a history of the disease in the family. Awareness is your friend! If you find any symptoms, have yourself checked as soon as possible. Early detection is the best way to beat it.

xx Nikki    

Heirlooms

My grandfather and uncle are moving out of their old house, the same house where my mom and her siblings grew up, and into a smaller apartment in the village. Since my grandmother passed away, the old house has been too big for the 2 of them and difficult to manage, even with a helper. It has been, as of last Wednesday, November 2, exactly 3 years since my grandmother passed, so it seems just about time to "move on."

This afternoon my brother and I went over there to help Papa, our grandfather, sort out and pack up over 50 years worth of memories in the house. Our aunt, my mom's youngest sister, was there to help as well. We picked out our favorites from and split their rather large collection of china; heirlooms which Mama, our grandmother herself passed down to my mom and aunt long ago. Papa also gave us some of their old furniture, interior decorations, and other mementos he and Mama got from the many places they traveled to back in the day. There's this one 4-piece painting of sorts of the seasons that hung on the wall in their living room, right above their couch. I've always liked it and enjoyed looking at it whenever I'd visit or stay with my grandparents as a little girl. So did my parents apparently. Now we can hang it on our own wall as Papa willingly gave it to me when I asked if we could have it for our house. He also told me how they got it from Vietnam! My aunt got this old table from the living room which, until today, I did not know was actually an old sewing machine!! Imagine my surprise haha! And my brother got some of Mama and Papa's old lighters, matches and ash trays. He was also actually trying to ask for this big old figurine of Confucius, for his room I guess haha, but Papa did not want to give it away since it was a wedding gift to him and Mama. For a split second, though, I think he was willing to think about giving it away. Papa's generous and sweet like that haha. But of course my brother, understanding its sentimental value, urged him to keep the figurine for his new home. We also got some of their old cassette tapes of Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, The Conniffs, and the like. My brother and I are kind of suckers for old, vintage stuff like that.

We are far from finished packing; there's still a lot left to box up and move tomorrow (and well into the weekend, probably), including Mama's clothes. But at least we got started already. I think everyone in the family had been thinking about all this and worrying about where to start this past month or two. I mean moving out isn't exactly easy, especially if you've lived in the same house for over 50 years. How could you just box everything up and leave, right? Naturally, there were moments while we were packing up when Papa would turn reminiscent. He'd remember where, when and why they got whatever it was we were holding. Then he'd tell us about letting go and how we just need to do it sometimes. It was his way of coping with all this, I guess. Seeing him like that was not my favorite part of the day. But, like I told him, at least he doesn't have to let go of it all completely. He'll still see these things when he comes to visit our house or my aunt's.. And even without them, he'll always have memories of the good old days with Mama. He can always just look back and remember how he and his family had been blessed with and through such a phenomenal woman. Then he can look forward to making new good old days with us! :)

I never imagined we would have to do this, pack up Mama and Papa's old house and sell it to someone who's turning it into a business, a restaurant or something. A few times over the years we'd ask what would happen to it when we grow up but we never really talked about it because it was unthinkable. I guess at the back of our heads we just thought this house was always going to be there and be ours.

Packing up today was not easy both physically and emotionally. But it's nice to receive heirlooms, to have something of your family's to keep for years, especially your favorites. And it's nice to know that when things change, when we grow up and move on, we don't have to completely let go of everything. We'll always have these things and our family to help us look back at the good old days and look forward to more. That cliche' is very true.

Puppy Love

 

One of the few photos from a little experiment/photoshoot I did with a couple of girl friends. That's me with Blair, our shih-tzu, hence the title: Puppy Love :)