Early Tuesday Morning Babbles of a Quintessential Gemini

Anxious is what I am at the moment. In just a few more days I will have been (f)unemployed for exactly 2 months. I thought I wanted--no, needed--that much time off. To allow myself enough time to thoroughly think about my next move. But around the time I started to lose sleep and all I realized one month really was enough; and that I really could do anything/more than I thought, that I really just had too many life goals and dreams, and that there's really no way to make sure that whatever I decide to do next will make them come true the way and order I would like them to. I just have to get a move on, get out there and make it happen. Make everything I do from now on an investment for my growth and dream chasing. So really, 30 days off was enough. It was more than I could handle, in fact. Right now I just can not wait to start working, to be busy again (as I've said in my last post. I just can not stress this point enough).

There are some things I'm unsure of at the moment. To be honest, I'm scared. I'm at a crossroads. There was one path I wanted to take, but as it seems not to be working out for me again, or for now at least (I choose to have faith. I will get there someday), I am considering taking the other path. It was not my first choice, but it's a good, very promising one, too. It could be pretty exciting, and I have people close by who can vouch for that. It's all about perspective now. I'm just trying to learn as much as I can from this, trying to stay open to the possibilities, to see how I could make things work if I do get it. Guess I understand now what they mean when they say "life is what you make it." But again, I'm scared. Last night I went through some requirements I needed to accomplish for it and thought about just dropping it all. It felt like a lot of work to me. But that's not right, is it? No pain, no gain. It's all a process after all. I still have yet to see how this will work out, if it will. You won't know unless you try. I would not want to be a close-minded snob of a young girl. So, ok, I will give this a shot.

I intentionally littered that last paragraph with cliches because, ironically, one of my biggest fears is to be seen as a shallow, cliche person. Or a ditz. And earlier today I read an essay where the author said he refuses to write about the predictable = cliche, because "(it) does nothing but block us from real thought... to keep you from having to think about anything new... to keep you from having to change." For what it's worth, while I do recognize his point, I do not exactly completely agree with it. It's important to think real, new, thoughts, yes, I see that, but sometimes it helps to read about and think in cliches, too. They are cliches for a reason--a lot of them are true and continue to be proven time and time again. They are based on some universal truths, some bigger ideas. So they do not necessarily "block us from real thought" but, in fact, leads up to them most times. Or maybe that's just me. Haha. Just my two cents' worth.

I Feel My Heart Start Beating to my Favorite Song: The Script's Hall of Fame

Screen grab of Danny from a teaser for #3. 

Heard a bit of Hall of Fame, The Script's new single from their next album (#3) earlier today. It was a very short clip, just about a couple of seconds long, but it sounded so great! Intense melodies.. and I'm sure the lyrics are outstanding (again) as well. True to their style, as manifested in their first two albums.

My brother said he thinks the record's going to be a little more "hip-hop" or rhythm and blues. Well seeing as Hall of Fame does feature will.i.am, and judging by some of their earlier records like We Cry, it won't come as a surprise anymore if this record does turn out to be like that. But I don't mind! The Script has always blended (piano) rock and RnB so well, making a "genre" that's unique to them. And that's just one of the many things about them--they've always been so candid about their opinion on genres and about Boyz II Men being one of their favorites and biggest influences, besides U2 and The Police--that has made me fall hard for them and their music. Can't wait to hear it on Monday!!! 3:30 PM Manila time on any of the stations listed here (most of them should have live streaming).

Snooze and Music

It feels so great to be able to sleep a good 7 hours and wake up bright, albeit rainy, and early the next day. In spite of the rain, which I am finding rather comforting despite the intensity, I am looking forward to the day ahead. I am a right proper night owl, you see--but over the last couple of weeks I have crossed the fine line between night owl and zombie! I've always had an irregular sleeping pattern, regulated only by work and a proper schedule to follow. Without anything official really at the moment to keep me busy, my insomnia returned and took a turn for the worse. Most days I would stay up at night and, to try to make up for it, sleep the whole day. On other days in between I wouldn't be able to sleep at all. It was getting pretty exhausting already, not to mention unhealthy! I was doing 'nothing' yet I felt tired all the time. My insomnia this time was induced by several different factors. One, most definitely, was the pressure to find the 'right' job. And the anxiety that comes with thinking about and sifting through the options. Another was boredom. I'm really looking forward to working and getting busy again. But they do say patience is a virtue.. and good things come to those who wait. So I decided this time to really hear what everyone has been advising me to do--the very logical 'stop worrying and trust that everything will work out.' Because I did my part already after all. Now's a good time to be optimistic.

So with a little help from a mild sleep aid and some sleepy time tea, I tucked into bed early last night and so willingly drifted off. Today I feel refreshed.. and got pretty excited when I saw The Script's announcement that their first single Hall of Fame from their upcoming album, #3, will be played on British radio stations on Monday the 23rd. I'm too big a fan to wait for the single to reach Philippine airwaves. Thank God most radio stations today live stream their programs. If you are reading this and would like to hear the single sooner, too, catch it on Monday, July 23, 3:30 PM live streamed on any of the radio stations listed here. (I could really just be a publicist hahaha I think I'd do the job well!)

x N