Infatuated

This little time off has given me a lot of time to think. And read. In a span of about two weeks I had finished The Hunger Games book--which I had started a while back but had to put aside for a bit, breezed through Catching Fire, and gone through half of Mockingjay. I thoroughly enjoyed the first two books. And as for the third one, I have yet to find out what happens to Peeta and Katniss--whether they do end up together/Katniss decides she loves Peeta more than Gale--and how it closes the whole story, to decide whether I enjoyed it as much as the first two. I am a sucker for love stories like that. Ha! But I am also a rather loyal "fan," which makes me say, based on what I've read of it so far, that it is not disappointing. I am usually late with these things. So while the rest of the world has moved on from all the hype, my love for the books, characters, the brand as a whole, is only just reaching its peak. I am also still just itching to see The Hunger Games film. It is unfortunate that I was not able to catch it in cinemas and it has not come out on DVD yet.

This time off has also given me the privilege to follow the events of Queen Elizabeth II's Diamond Jubilee celebration. It was a good time for an anglophile like myself, watching the Thames Pageant on television right as it was happening, and reading about and seeing photos from the concerts and other events that took place during the Jubilee weekend. That plus The Voice UK finals--my most recent favorite show--has only enhanced my admiration for the United Kingdom and the royal family. And my drive to sing again.

I wanted to take this time off to give myself a chance to think thoroughly about where I want to go and what I want to do next. But how long a break is considered healthy? and how long is just plain lazy? The last thing I want is to let any possible opportunities slip because I took so long deciding.

It's not as simple as I thought it would be, figuring out my next step. I thought I would know as soon as I finished my previous responsibilities. It will take just a little more time, I guess. But what I've had of this time off so far has not been completely futile. I was surprised in a good way by how much self-discovery I was able to accomplish during this time. Those bits about The Hunger Games, the Diamond Jubilee, and The Voice UK were mentioned for a reason. In one way or another, they each have contributed to my self-discovery and have given me a chance to work from that and grow through the examples set by their heroines.

Katniss Everdeen, Queen Elizabeth II, Catherine Middleton, and the coaches and all the artists of The Voice UK season 1 have taught and encouraged me to be braver, to work harder, to be more independent and aggressive (in a good way). I realized that I have not handled some things as best as I could, or done my best in some tasks, and gave up on some things too easily. I will personally say (admit) that I have been mediocre. But I don't want to be that anymore. I'm learning from my experiences, picking up a lot of really valuable lessons and applying them in my next endeavors. Also, I wish to be like the heroines. Like Katniss, who never gives up and does what she knows is right, and does not let her emotions get the best of her. Like Queen Elizabeth, who  for years has kept a level head, carried on despite controversies, and has adapted to changing times. Like Catherine Middleton, who takes everything--all the new, big responsibilities and protocol--in her stride, and stays classy, poised, not to mention happy, while doing so. Like the coaches of The Voice UK who work hard not only for themselves but for the people around them, and believe in the skills and talents of their artists enough to hone them. And the artists, who continually rise above any setbacks and muster the confidence to get out there and share themselves to the world, so now they face a brighter future with the promise of the fulfillment of their dreams.

I wish to be like all of them.

The other day I read this great piece on Thought Catalog called I Need an Infatuation. There the author wrote,

I would be happy with just being in love with a good book, an opera, a philosophy I overheard in another conversation and turn around in my head until it settles like a fine dust over everything I believe.

I want the infatuation of learning something new, of discovering something about myself, the thrill of small joys that don't cost anything and don't require anyone else's presence. I want to be infatuated with myself, to feel like I am enough, and I so rarely do.  

I want that falling feeling, that obsessive interest with all that's around me, with all that I'm capable of.

When I read it, I thought it hit so close to home. I did not know it at the time but after processing it all I think I can say I found my (new) infatuation. And it feels good.. It makes me want to be better in general.

I wish you the same.

Cheerio!

PS
It feels even better to know that the feeling (infatuation) does not have to go away, because like the author said too,

We live in a world with a million and one things to fall in love with, to enjoy, to be totally taken with..

PPS
I know this can sound so cliche. But I really feel like this is such a huge step for me in my personal growth and goals.