The End Where I Begin

Over 7 days later, I still don't understand how I feel about it exactly. We miss dad very terribly. Most especially in the mornings, for some reason. Now we're beginning to feel the void left by his passing. It gets real everyday, like mom says.

It's true what they say: when something like this happens, one finds it difficult to even imagine how she could live without the one who's passed. I know there's a reason for what has happened, and so I understand I - all of us - will just have to learn to fully accept it in time. But right now, I just want everything to be ok again already. Because I'm dreading what comes in the next 30 days or so. But I don't want to rush it either, because that wouldn't be right. And I want to remember dad properly.

This is not to say I'm completely inconsolable at the moment, though. Nor my mom, sister, brother, and ate Den, our beloved help, who was very close to dad, too. There are a lot of things and people we have found comfort in. Family (aunts, uncles, and cousins) have been most helpful (needless to say they're going through this with us). Friends are the best, as always. They're our own personal angels on earth, really. I should mention that I, WE, really felt the love -- and still feeling it today. Everyday! It's comforting as well to see and know how truly blessed we still are, no matter how terribly difficult things are at the moment. Music, I must say, as ever, is another very helpful, comforting, and powerful force in my life -- it has helped me through a lot, this particular time included now.

My, there are a lot of songs about loss out there. And artists who've gone through the same, even my most favorite ones -- it's comforting to know we have that in common, and reassuring to see how they've coped. So I know that I will be able to do so, too. Also, it's moving how they remember their loved ones through their songs. Inspiring. Maybe the first song I'll ever write will be about dad.